RandomNess

MOVED!

2010-11-14T01:36:00.000-08:00

MOVED TO TUMBLR!

Weekend

2010-11-07T18:36:00.000-08:00

Its confirmed that my lappie Fujitsu sucks TTM! Now using sis Macbook which i tink is waayyy much better coz...

1: Its already few years old. Mine is only close to 2 years.

2: No matter how rough u're with the way u handle Mac its still gonna be ok but mine will juz increase its loading time.

3: Mine will always have prob with the internet connection! Fuck sia.Like now. But Mac..no..its connection is so damn flawless!! Grr...

Ok watever. Anyway my this weekend was well spent i shall say. Fulfilling well-spent. Since it was Deepavali, me n sis juz spent the whole day cooking & baking. So now i cant stop munching on our choc chip cookies which i decided to load on more choc chips since we got xtra. So can imagine the chocolate-ness! Haha.

Then yest was a family gathering cum dinner at Kampong Chai Chee seafood.

Then later at night i rushed to Simpang Bedok Cash studio to celebrate Wan's 23rd Bday. The bday boy didnt noe all of us are gonna be there. He also didnt noe his gf is gonna come with a big bday CHOC cake. haha! Sweetness!

Ok dat sums everything up. Today shall finish all my tutorials & learn Jap! *faint*

p.s I want my bestfriend back. :-( damn sad. haiz.

??

2010-10-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

Im nervous for tmr. Coz tmr will be the week abt the answer from them. I hope..reeaallly2 do hope it'll be positive. Den it'll lift up ur/our burden altogether.

You are just the best & insya-allah u will receive the best. Aishteru.

Nothing

2010-10-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

There are no more left words to say..

The older u gets the more ppl will disappoint u. Even though they are the last person that u expected to make u feel dat way.

So the only way is to juz smile along as there's nothing much u can do or i can do. I tink i did my best, i put my best foot forward & i was giving my all. But in the end is juz how much u can do.

Being bz is the best or i shall say awesome. There's no more life in me left, to help or even noe what's goin on. But then again wen u tot u're giving ur all that they say "no..it's juz not enough & now everything is ur fault. Y do u even bother. We didnt asked." Haiz.

If i say i cant adapt to changes den dat'll be a lie. Coz u see i was contented b4 with wat i had. But things keep changing & i had too, like a chameleon. But i guess now i shall juz stick to my own color. Whether everyone like it or not.

Back to the norm

2010-10-08T20:35:00.000-07:00

Next week will be the last week..

Den it'll be back to laptops, heavy bags & squeezing brain juice..

I hope u enjoyed ur bday surprise dear sis.

Honestly I cant wait for 2 years to come! *excited*

Till den babes.

Pull your enemies closer.

2010-09-27T13:00:00.000-07:00

I dunno how many times must i remind myself that whenever a friend is in need of my help or a listening ear, I should shut myself up..be ignorant & walk away..

Coz in the end.. they will only call u or look for u when they're in need & when the actual prob is settled..You're as useless as a dirty rag.

Hmmm, karma bites. Contradictor!

Grandma get well soon.

2010-09-23T20:20:00.000-07:00

I tink my blog's kinda dead..but who cares..juz for me to jot down my thots..

Anyways..so many things/gossip lately dat i literally felt dat im on Gossip Girl. hoho. (me being the narrator of coz). ;-p With relationship issues..who's dating who..who's scandaling with who..who's confusing who..who's playing cat & mouse with who..so on & so forth.Sadly no Blair&Chuck.

Now that aside..my grandma juz been transferred to ICU. Scary shit. Went to visit her yest & she was sleeping soundly. Shall visit her again tmr since im on 1/2 day leave (attachment pon ade leave ok). woohoo.

Looking at her makes me think of our life. How fragile & vulnerable it can be but still we ppl take advantage of it. Focusing too much on the things we have in life luxury or not..or focusing too much on searching the right life partner. I mean who wants to be lonely..But then again, nvr a time we make a hassle on the sins we made. For i have made tons of dat. But insya-allah slowly day by day im trying to be better..

So again..that aside..issit a coincidence dat my close gf also use the word 'significant other'? Hmm..oh wells, dear significant other..bile nk Bottle Tree?? teeheehee.

Ice Cube today!

2010-09-19T02:13:00.000-07:00

Had a lovely day today with love.

An alas we had a decent conversation. We talked abt the things that's happening ard us of coz.

And he nvr fail to impress me with his words. Not sweet talking mind you.

We're talking about how ppl changed like duh of coz.. due to events or meeting new ppl.

& one of the things he said..... he said if u're wat u are, no matter wat.. u will stay who u are.
Meaning, if u noe who u already are, no matter wat situation u're in.. u will still be....you.

A decade of friendship & i have to admit it, i love each one of u guys to bits.(no matter how siak u guys can be at times..including me too ;-p) You guys mould who am i today.

And i pLomise i will never be a damn brat gf anymore. hurhur.

Game on

2010-09-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

Im juz so sad right now coz it seems dat i cant have a decent conversation or confiding in to my significant other.

Yes i'm mad coz wen we haf the chance to..he's always full of excuses. So im gonna hold dat in & play it along till he initiates it coz i dun wanna him to tink dat i dun understand.

Furthermore i cant do any outgoings anymore. So yeah, wen he initiates im gonna refuse & refuse & refuse till he be frustrated & go mad. Haha.

Dats women for ya! Esp pms-ing ones. When u give us shit, we'll give u tons of crap!

Selamat Aidilfitri

2010-09-10T22:30:00.000-07:00

The perks of being a student still at my age. Getting green packet frm own sista! Muahahah!

Money makes the people in the world goes round.

2010-09-08T01:05:00.000-07:00

Im in need of a getaway badly..But time & money issues does not permit me to plan smoothly with my friends.

Coz firstly im schooling, no time to even go to my part-time job to work. So it means no money. Plus need to concentrate on Hari Raya 1st.

Well money doesnt fall from the sky. You need to earn it. Of coz u can plan n all. But in the end when u're short of money, how to even enjoy the holiday.

And of coz we can find ways to have the money. But sadly actually there's only one way. That is to work.

Work & save. Saving need time. We cant juz work 24hours juz for the sake of goin to holiday. Too bad most of us are supporting ourselves now with a third world pay. -___-

All in all..wat im tryin to say is, I shall go for a holiday when i juz have the money. Lol. Its better to juz go with the flow.

Maybe aft raye i'll save.

Jln2 Cari Makan

2010-09-05T23:58:00.000-07:00

My weekend is over. Boo hoo.

Pictos Galore!

2010-09-03T21:24:00.000-07:00

Happy 24th Anniversary mom & dad! Love u both lots2!Emma's 22nd! Much Love!

Didi's dikir comp. Congrats for bronze!

Apart from my family & dear boifey..You guys are certainly the next biggest gem in my life.xoxo.

Bottoms up Bottoms up

2010-08-24T22:20:00.000-07:00

For once i forgot dat i have a blog. Been uber bz dat now i can count the few hrs of sleeping time.

So not looking fwd to Hari Raya.haiz. & i wanna upload Emma's bday but i still cant find my damn cable.

So anyhoos..the 1st week of ramadan i had iftar session with the babes. Love them a lot a lot.

Taught them mono deal while waiting for azan. We were suupperr early lah. Kiasu katekan.

Look at my winning cards.hoho.

Me, Didi, Ira & Tsue

So the other day the guys were talking about our dream person. Somehow i wonder why our dream person is all abt appearance. Sheesh. Of coz mine is also abt appearance. How they must look..must haf this must haf dat..

But wen i look at Ayid (ehem ehem) the truth is..He may not haf my dream person's look dat I wanted but he got my dream person's character. How he behaved, how he reacts to certain things..His perspective on diff situations or probs. The most impt is how he treats me..

Just like a princess.. :-)

NDP

2010-08-10T01:56:00.000-07:00

During last year NDP, i spent doin project at hm with my classmates since morn till midnight. So therefore this year i wanna go out & surprisingly i spent it with Emma & her fren with her sis. It was fun though. It make me miss goin out with my gfs like Julie & Nurul. And dats y i was sooo damn happy to bum into Lia & Zul. They remind me of them.

Ili, Ili's sis (i forgot her name,hehe), Emma, Me

Anyway I tink youngsters these days are growing up so fast. .Its been a while too since i saw loads of my community & instead of relief dat they do exist since foreigners are conquering s'pore everywhere..I feel scared. Girls like 13 or 14 dress as if they wanna be naked, thick makeup & tattoos everywhere for guys. Its as if they wanna grow up so fast. Like why the hell? I tink if they reached my age, how they wish they can turn back time & be dat age & act dat age all over again.ppft.

Enuff said. Happy National Day.

;-D

2010-08-01T22:06:00.000-07:00

This July have been a quite hectic mth..

With my boyfriend in crutches..my dad's birthday which falls on the same day as my anniversary..Den it's his dad bday which we cannot attend. With 2 consecutives presentation in sch & i cannot take another breathe yet coz Aug will be my mom's birthday den it'll be S'pore b'day..hurhurhur.

Anyways this is how we celebrated my dad's bday.

Yes we went to Universal Studio! & he won himself a lucky draw. Consider as a bday present k daddy? ;-p

Anyways it was freaking hot till im 10x shades darker. Oh crap.

So me & bf 9th year anniversary & yeah since he's in crutches..get the idea k. haha! But i had a lovely time with him. More den any other days.

And tmr morning, accompany him to his another therapy session. I juz love pushing him ard with him on a wheelchair. Can bully him. hee!

Cant wait for us to be a decade together!

....

2010-07-17T23:59:00.000-07:00

Because i sacrificed so much..that i expect more of u every time every single day every single hour every single second...

Because i sacrificed so much that expect u to do the same...

That's all i ask for but it seems it was such a difficult task for u.

If only we could rewind back time..I would not sacrifice anything & maybe it won't even hurt at all.

Just Confused

2010-07-16T21:45:00.000-07:00

It hurts me so bad when you bombarded me with those words.. Dun understand..too many questions..what can you do..got nothing to do with me..

Oh god..really,now im beginning to believe in 'sweet nothings'.

What am i too you really.

Worse than a heartbreak

2010-07-09T23:08:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulilah, my grandfather selamat dikebumikan earlier today aft sembahyang Jumaat. Innalillahi Wainnalillah Hirajiun.

He opened his eyes to say goodbye. He teared when we left. No use for regrets. We can only pray

you will be put with the rest yg beriman. Insya-allah.Amin.

Thank you esp Didi, Emma, Emma's bro & of coz my boyfriend for helping me & my family throughout. Not forgetting Aib too. Really appreciate it so much. To the bestfriend Man, I understand you were in camp. Sorry didnt tell you personally. You've been missed.

Lose those pounds.

2010-07-07T20:08:00.000-07:00

First test over and its damn easy but super tricky..

Nevertheless, look at wat we're doing almost everyday. Slacking in sch & playing monopoly deal every now & then. That's the reason of me gaining weight. Darn it.

Mom juz gave the good news that grandpa juz opened his eyes. Syukur alhamdulilah. Cant wait to see him later. :-D

Dont Go..

2010-07-06T21:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Grandpa,

Please get well soon & wake up. We miss seeing you looking at us & talk to us. We juz simply miss u. *sobsob*

Too many

2010-07-02T19:49:00.000-07:00

Aft much hassle Starhub made us go thru..alas can surf internet again! WEE~

Got gazzzilions photos i need to upload.. -__-

But shall upload only this.haha.

Happy watching soccer at Arab street people & wavehouse soon k my dear Cheers mates! Oh now known as classmates.Attachment OVER. ;-)

Cheeesssyy

2010-06-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

Lemme blog a bit before i go get ready..

Last Fri farewell party. Our last few moments of being friends.haha! I was supposedly on leave that day but I came back. See how dedicated i am?? ;p

Actually wanna upload a few more pics but laazzzyy. Somehow i lost my camera cable and somehow my lappie cannot read my memory card. So i can only upload at my dusty desktop.

And i didnt meet boyfriend for a week! Damn it. Haiz.. :-(

Klah better go get ready to shop for cheese for someone who is craving like a girl getting period.hahah! Kidding hor. The normal mac & cheese dun want. He want FOUR cheeses! *faint* tk sedap berak2 dun blame me k.

Dun worry I shall cook with mucho Love.

Taa~

Memo

2010-06-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

O.M.G..I really cant believe the whole of 9 weeks juz passed like dat. i mean not whole lah, exactly 1 more week left..excluding the fact that we have to come back juz to train the new batches.

Oh crap..

Anyways, i juz logon to friendster and its like a blast to the past..

Few pics dat i forgotten it even exist. Haha.

I miss goin out with my sis..plus Nurul & the rest where we will juz sit & laze ard at Clarke Quay while they have a few drinks. It makes me wonder..where we got the freaking time to do that?? Now its like bzbzbzbzbz.

And i miss having brown hair! and looking skinny of coz.. But nah, shall have natural jet black hair now. Still in the process of getting rid of some brown leftovers.heh.

Yeap i miss these of coz. Where everyone of our boifrens used to ride bikes & rode like we own the road. Look at my chio helmet!lol.I tink this the pic Man wanted. Sorry dude! Cant see ur plate no. Coz Ayid's bike is much more outstanding. Was i mean *ehem

And...i used to hang out with this babe. Hmm, i wonder how we grew apart. Facebook is now the only thing that helps friends that grew apart stay connected. 0.o

So that's all abt my friendster pics. Got a whole lot more but yeah..

Some memories shall be kept & locked.

U are the joke.

2010-06-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

Getting ready to meet boyfriend later..

Im so sorry abt yest although me & Emma was laughing through out..the movie was such a joke like SOME ppl. lol.

& u were juz cute lah bf.. & i admit it was my fault.heehhehe.

Anyway, that some ppl can tink watever u want of me coz at the end of da day..im juz happy with my loved ones ard me. ;-))

See wat i mean wen i say i try to be nice?

2010-06-01T01:34:00.000-07:00

Its already 1.30 am & i have yet to sleep. Coz i feel like laughing my ass off.

Please eh, prangai jgn mcm pompuan bleh tk? Btol lah u always call urself a bitch. Living up to ur name eh?? Haha, coz i purposely wrote the comment aft urs. As expected u did wat u did. Which only bitchy girls always do..lol.

We're 23 for godsake. Urgh, y i even bother.

I tink the maturity of this bunch of teenagers whom i see everyday is much more higher den urs.

I DO..

2010-05-30T22:15:00.000-07:00

My childhood friend Shida got married today! Congrats babe! Im so happy for you. We known each other since i dunno..before pri sch? We went madrasah sch together..pri sch together den sec sch also together.I still cant absorb the fact that we are at the state where each one of my friends will get married & have children oredi (which some already did..haha!).

Look at the cute bride & groom figurine! Shall we get this too bf?? hhehe!

Faezah & her son.

Im very much closer with them girls as compared to my own girlfriends in my class. Sumtimes i wonder y.haha. Coz u see,im frm normal acad last time. But 1 way or another i started mixing with these express girls. Then they graduated 1st den me, coz i got stuck to sec 5.lol. Frm there i slowly mix with my own girls in my class but still not close till now. Oh wells, past stories. Its been more den 10 years balls...we come a long way indeed.

Fiza,Amalina,Me & Faezah.

Then off i went to another wedding in tamp. Super tiring. Padahal datang duduk mkn jerr.

My makcik sedara got married.Her husband damn tall.

My beloved grandma & my youngest cousin, Iffa.

My sis & yours truly.

So that's my Sunday. This long weekend is really fattening me up. Urgh.

Let's hope for a better tmr

2010-05-29T02:30:00.000-07:00

How can someone be so manipulative? How can that someone feel no remorse? Aft destroying 1 relationship aft another? Makes me wonder wat do they gain frm doing so? Satisfaction? Then wat??

Im just so amazed with these kind of ppl. The talent they have & yet they decided to use it for their own advantage. Coz they need to be influential to be manipulative. & yes ive seen how influential u are. Reminds me of hitler though. You twist & turn, twist & turn words & u said it with gusto & so much passion & u wont let others haf the chance to even say a word..

Yes i do believe in karma & yes i do believe that ppl will change for the better. I juz hope the latter will fit u juz fine. & im not saying im soooo a good person but destroying ppl's happiness to me is a no no.

The L Word

2010-05-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

Haha..some lesbo wanna get to know me.

PENAT

2010-05-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

So tonight surely i cant sleep coz i took a way too long power nap once i got hm...Morning shift & continuation of more work in the aftnn is seriously taking a toll on me.

Gonna be 3 more weeks to go den its time to start attending classes once again.

p.s Dont i look juz like 1 of them? 18? Haha!

Contented

2010-05-23T22:45:00.000-07:00

I think i am a nice person..If not at least i tried to be. Coz i always think before i say anything bcoz u never know if it will hurt people w/o u knowing it.

But ya, I think this cruel & harsh world of reality makes it hard for ppl like me to remain or even maintain to be nice. Coz if being too nice..people might juz take it to their advantage & step on your head.

That's why most of the time if ppl say something super hurtful things at me with them knowing or not, i'll try to juz shut my mouth. Coz i know if i ever shoot them back, it will really stab them where it is most hurtful.

I know i did coz it did happen. The other party will juz stop blaberring & goes on & hate me. Like, -__-.

Im blogging all these coz i did something bad or rather i'd say bitchy today.Haha. Oh well, the person force me to do it. Like wat u're trying to prove girl?? Luckily i got a very understanding boyfriend that really understands why i did that. Most of all, he is also my bestfriend. Apart frm the guy bestfriend. That's y i dun haf a girl bestfriend. Its juz so hard. We tend to be very bitchy & emotional & even being competitive towards each other.

& these 2 bestfriends are always there to remind me that they dont matter. Only my closed ones that i should keep in mind & keep them close to my heart.

2 Days of Sinful Indulgence

2010-05-16T01:15:00.000-07:00

Its a stay home weekend for me this week..and so I decided to become a good daughter & cook lunch for my family.. Alah, a simple one actually..some chili fried rice top with anchovies & fried chicken..

Den went grocery shopping with my bf. Went hm & bake cinnamon rolls! Yummey. 1st time baking actually, so yeah i didnt the roll the dough thin enough so u can imagine how gigantic my cinnamon rolls will be.hahah!

Nvm, next time will be the perfect one.

Hmmm, maybe tmr i'll bake choc fudge brownie.Den eat with ice-cream! Drooollllsss...

To my dear loverboy..I know its a hard time for u these past few weeks..I am trying my best to be beside you,saying words of comfort coz i noe your time will definitely come by. Your faith in God is still strong despite nearly giving up hope. And i am so proud of you because of that.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T13:21:00.000-07:00

We celebrate Mother's Day a day earlier at Swensens.

We love u mom & dad.& today supposed to go grandma's house but kinda lazy esp when its raining now. Feel like sleeping again.

ZzzzzzZZZZ.

XoXO

2010-05-06T22:06:00.000-07:00

I miss my bf terribly. Athough i met him yest. Haha. Accompany him cut hair & now he look charming. :-p

Alone at hm now listening to Te Amo..

How i wish he's beside me now giving me xoxo.Hahahha!

Maybe i shud buy this err...creepy pillow.

Damn creepy. o_O

But kinda cool huh..

Penatnakmampos

2010-05-02T16:15:00.000-07:00

Nadiah,Shida,MeSo yest like finally met my close sec gfs! Miss them so much! Looking at them reminds me how old we are now. Haha! Knowing Shida is getting married end of this mth makes me more pressure to also get married.lol! since me & bf are like 2gether since a decade. *faint*

Aft dat met these 2 for lunch coz they juz love to kacau daun with me & bf. hahahah!

Den me & bf had to rush coz meeting my parents to go Sentosa juz to sightseeing the Universal Studio. Looks awesome btw. Others were still under construction and we went to the Hershey's place. The chocs really make me drool.....

Den at night met them again with Emma joining us. We watched Iron Man 2. Its freaking annoying coz this stupid mat keep kicking my chair. Go amputate ur leg lah like Lady Gaga.Idiot.

So that's abt it. Again lazy Sun. & tmr i need to wake up supeeerr early to open shop in sch. Haiz. If i overslept gd luck to me. Supervisor will certainly strangle me.

Chiao..

IMGETTINGFATTERFUCK.

2010-04-29T22:25:00.000-07:00

Night shift ending soon. Morning shift here i come. -___-

So far so good. We survived 1st week of attachment together. My team is superb i must say.

Steal pic frm Andy. Hee! But he's not in it. Nvm next time proper grp pic. :p

Supposedly goin simpang bedok with boifey & the rest. Such a long time nvr eat there. Come to think of it...Such a long time nvr eat everywhere. Fish&Co, Cahaya..Ojolali..Seoul Garden.

Haiz..

Oh ya, mother's day maybe gonna eat swensen! Oklah, can eat my StickyChewyChoc!

I blame everyone. hmph!

2010-04-25T02:29:00.000-07:00

I was a happy girl today..till towards the end of the nite. I cudnt ask for any enjoyable day. I wished everyday was like this. Except till the end of the day...

Oh wells. I shud haf juz thrown the strait times away.

I hate this feeling. The feeling of hating everything & anything & everyone.

Esp the word sembarang. I swear if anyone else is gonna use the word sembarang im so gonna strangle that person. Or simple..ignorance is damn fuckin bliss.

Druggy..

2010-04-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulilah, the surgery went well. I swear i wont want to take morphine ever again. The after effects is so miserable & depressing. But i haf no choice.

But wat i cant forget the most is when u came in & smile at me when i open my eyes feeling all drowsy. And u came over & kissed my forehead.

I swear i wont want to erase that image.

MYOB!

2010-04-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

So this is how I spend my weekends..with these suckers who likes to bully me but saying i kental when i let them win.Saying dat i shud not give up on them..LOL! Ckp jelah krg tkleh hidup tanpa aku. I color ur life. hahahhahaha! suckers.

For now let me continue sulking with my boifey...Grrrrr..

Age is just a number.

2010-04-16T23:28:00.000-07:00

Let me rant abt sch..

Im beginning to actually like poly life ever since starting of this sem. Met new grp of ppl which i tink they are great & i hope it'll remain like this thruout our 'Cheers' life.haha!

As expected the same reaction once they got to noe my age. Saying how young u look..u dun look like 23..yadyadyaya. Surprisingly, my supervisor age is same as mine. How weird.haha, i cud have been in her place if i didnt fool ard last time. Well, no regrets. Wat's past is past huh.

As usual, malay is countable. 2 in fact. The other one seems arrogant though. Got to know she's 20. Maybe she tot im 17 lor..sorry lah kak if im too young to even tok to u. ppft.

Its kinda funny though coz the seniors was training us..& this particular malay girl was training me all the while..den aft she got noe my age she said she paiseh oredi to teach me..lol.

Oh well, all in all, i cant wait to start 'working'..

I hope i can be a 'strict' team leader..Not!

Cheers!

Family Lup..

2010-04-10T21:45:00.000-07:00

So today was out with dear mom & sis..

And yest duran duran..oops i mean durian eating at geylang was superb. :-)

& sch is opening soon....not forgetting my surgery too. *shivers*

Sedap!

2010-04-05T01:03:00.000-07:00

It was so bad of me to keep forgetting how sweet of a boyfriend u are..

Thank you for the Ben & Jerry's tub of Choc Fudge Brownie which u surprised me with. Muacks!

T_T

2010-04-04T19:05:00.000-07:00

I cant stop crying...

It juz hurts so much..

Tonite gonna be a gd gd nite!

2010-04-03T15:09:00.000-07:00

My gd friday was well spent with the usuals. Decided to catch the Clash of the Titans. Word of advice..do not watch it in 3D. Not worth it. I tink the gods are juz horny gods. Haha! If god wanna have a child, he'll juz use his powers to make a woman pregnant. But no, he needs to have sex with the woman while her husband was at war..with who else, but the gods. -__-

Oh well, juz for entertainment sake. Its juz a mythodology.

Seeee, im not that short. :P

Seriously, i cant wait for 6 Apr. Damn, such a torturous wait!

Shutting everything out.

2010-03-31T01:03:00.000-07:00

Guess im cooled down a bit. Guess the 'piss' feeling is still there. Actually getting more piss. What? Now its my fault that everything turn out this way? I cannot be angry??

I have my reasons to be acting this way.

Like AYid say, krg enjoy2..den gado..kite kene tanggung ah?? Isnt it seems like it??

Guess im still a wee bit mad at you, you & you.

LIKE I SAID, I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ANYMORE.

LKE I SAID, I TREASURE THIS FRIENDSHIP MORE THAN HAVING THIS TENSION WHICH SEEMS LIKE FOREVER.

But it seems like i cannot be angry, coz den they will be angry back at u. so im a doll issit?

Cannot have feelings.

Its not like i dun want to help sey..

But why help when im the only one clapping??

K da nk tdo.

My Sat..

2010-03-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

At last yest i managed to fullfil my craving of chilli crab! Wee~ Initially it was only me & boifey. Then, sis & her bf decided to join us & i love it! Shud do this more often. :)

In the end i was the only one finishing the crab coz the rest are not 'seafood fanatics' unlike me.

After dinner we went our separate ways & sumhow me & boifey ended up with the rest to town. Its been eons since we even walked ard town on a sat nite coz we juz simply hate the crowd lor. There was a dance competition which i must say a bad location. Its in front of taka gardens, so damn squeezy & the stage pathetic & there's no way u can see those performing unless u climb near the taka platforms there.

So anyways, its also been eons that i laughed so hard.

I've been silent & ignoring coz i know if i were to speak to both of u, i'll flare up & unpleasant words will be the ones you guys will hear & i dun want that to happen. I juz hope the prob that u guys have right now will be settled peacefully. The friendship that we have build for years is juz not worth it to have this tension ard us & ard all of u.

Love u ppl to bits. Muah!

THIS TIME ITS MY SAY

2010-03-21T02:57:00.000-07:00

This is gonna be a long entry..

Im super mad,pissed,down,heartpain all that u can name it.. To each & every one of them. I tink this is life. It hit me super hard that i got no time to even noe wat is actually the prob here. I tot since the incident of the chalet which is way back den was like enuff was enuff. But i guess i was damn fuckin wrong.

Ayid was right all along..But to me, i cant sit by & do nothing when the situation was totally not true. No one was talking abt u. U weren't the hot topic among us. All of us were damn clueless! Even me. & of coz i juz had to clear all of the names that were involved. I tried to understand where all of this was coming frm. I swear i tried damn hard. I tried not to blame anyone. I swear i tried. And aft hearing both sides of story..i was annoyed.frustrated. So i tried to make things right again. & this time it failed. I was putting a lot of pressure upon myself. Issit so damn hard ppl?? To even meet? W/o me?? Issit so damn fucking hard?? Now its like im forcing u guys wen im not. Im juz suggesting to meet, so u guys can live in peace. Like Ayid would say, 'They're old enuf to tink for themselves." But i guess this is me. Young or old, im here as a fren.

But come to tink of it. I tink all these feelings i have right now is actually pointing towards me. I tink im juz angry at myself. Y do time & time again i let myself being used? Y do i always haf to be involved..or let juz say being kpo?? U said being like kur is the best. Im sorry i juz cant put myself having a bf or fren dat let probs slip by w/o solving it. Saying dat is ok everytime. Or pretend that nothing happen. Im not saying he's bad. Its gd in some ways or let juz say to a certain extend.

My journey to being a good muslim is really putting me at a test. This test that i need to swallow. So that i can judge in a positive or negative way. I swear i tried very hard to look at every aspect in a positive way. But its testing my patience as well. & this patience has its limits. Im sorry for the way i talked to u juz now Mohd.Firman. I hope u understand. This is the only time that i really need u to understand me.. But if u do not.. What can i say. I can only pray for the best.

AND this time..I do not want to talk abt it anymore. I dun care if every one else will call me an ignorant. A bitch or watsoever. This is wat i meant wen i said..'Wen too much is juz too much'.

A piece of advice, Biar pecah di perut..Jgn pecah di mulut. Familiar phrase much?? Or this one, Sway Pian.

Ok,lets juz put the above entry to the past & yeah despite how i felt today towards the end of the night..I was in a glorious mood during the day. hahah. Wanna noe y? Me and my 3 gfs was Shang Rila-ing. :D Pics time..

Cha, Jules & Me

Nurul & Me

So that's abt it. Sweet dreams ppl!

Capek

2010-03-18T20:28:00.000-07:00

Meeting boifren later, after not meeting since..erm,monday? Happy banget deh!

Im so looking forward to this wkend. Fri date with who else lah kan, Mr boifey & Sat meeting with the woot2 gang. Corny sey name. haha! But dunno who came up with the name. Oh wells, still i cant wait. Maybe i can get a slice of Fruit Paradise Doms was talking abt.

This craving must so the stop. Haaiz..

Pain pain go away.

2010-03-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

A minor surgery is still a surgery. yikes. yikes. yikes.

Shud i or shudnt i. One aft another damn it!

Maybe i shud. But im scared. Im scared of being scarred when its gonna be on the sides of your face.

Woot2!

2010-03-13T09:46:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since i met them.No, its been ages. & i realised that how much i miss doing the ever so random stuffs with them.

With them only that the ever so random stuff will arise & with them only that it seems all my probs & sadness in life seems to disappear.

But sadly, dear sis cant join us due to some major circumstances.lol. But in the end, all of us decided to slumber at my hm till the 1st bus/train.

xoxo.

Open Hearts

2010-03-11T20:43:00.000-08:00

Everybody plays a part.
Everyone makes mistakes.

And each one of you have make mistakes here & there.
And im juz an outsider. A third party.

Im hearing this, this & this.
Now all i want is for all of us, me..you..him..her..
To close our eyes & touch our chests right through our hearts.

Do u hear what i hear..
Do u feel what im feeling now..

If u noe that u're right..
If u noe that u're wrong

That's what u shud be hearing & feeling right now.
The rest..is btwn u & the almighty.

IMY

2010-03-11T01:55:00.000-08:00

I feel like blogging tonite..Time check, 1.41am & tmr i got class chalet. Still pending whether i shud go.. I know it'll be the last time that we gonna meet each other. But im not really close to them..hmmm, we shall see tmr huh.

At last i finished watching The Message, The Story of Islam. Basically, the story of Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. & suddenly i haf this feeling of envy-ness. For those ppl who get to see, fight, talk to him. Dunno whether this feeling is right or wrong..Hmmm. Shall ask boifey..

Speaking of him, talked to him b4 he slept. Miss him so much..

Counting the days till the wkend to see him. :( Sumhow, u're never tired of listening to my complains. To my nagging. To my demanding-ness. How im always bratty towards you. Even though u're tired frm work or frm sch.

They say love is blind.But im sure my love for you is not a blind one.Last time, they also say im the lucky one & i always deny it. But now, i coudnt agree more.

K now, u ppl can vomit.haha.

Sweet dreams yaww.

As per norm

2010-03-09T23:22:00.000-08:00

So the best friend went in NS today this morning. Isk, da tua bangke baru nk masok ns. :P Like i've said, i want the worst of u. That is to get office job so when u come out, u'll be a fat arse than Ayid. LOL.

No lah, juz kidding of coz. I pray that u get what u wanted & good to know that ur leg is getting better Mr Policeman. Graduate with me dun want..Since u're gonna ord when i'll graduate.hurhur.

So anyhoos, i had gelare with the best friend lovergirl. hehehhe. Tues mah. Waffles 1/2 price. & your 3 kittens so cute Emma!!!! I wish i can bring back hm 1 of them. But i noe i'll neglect them. So better not.

Klah, dats all for my Tues minus the fact that boifey had me rushing frm my place to his & back. Boo hoo.

p.s. You're still 1 of us...

Ok now im piss

2010-03-06T14:20:00.000-08:00

Today is one of those days that i will feel fat...Urgh. Im not saying that im thin but as in fat fat..

Cant wait to meet the rest tonite. Wanna catch Alice in Wonderland..Boifey & Man is now buying tix.

As for now, maybe i shall spring clean my room. Tah.

All i got.

2010-03-06T13:36:00.000-08:00

In juz a day i learnt a lot of things. I learnt not to talk when im angry. Coz watever dat is coming out of my mouth will not be the words that i really meant. Coz words are much more sharper than a knife. It can kill someone, relationship & friendship in juz secs. No matter how long you took to build it.

I also learnt that secrets in life are not avoidable. Its either u can keep it. If u cant, then its juz too bad huh. Dun expect ppl to keep for yours in return.

That's y its better to know when to talk & when to keep ur mouth shut before hurting someone u really cares. Or maybe u really dun care. Coz guilt is eating u inside. Or maybe, u are born with a very thick skin. God knows.

I also learnt that flaws in life are also unavoidable. I let my guard down to apologise to the mistake i know so well its not mine. Yet, y try to destroy the happiness of others with those sharp words. Y target someone who's weak with those sharp words.

Im crying inside for those secrets i hold for years. I cried inside for living a lie with those secrets. I cried inside for simply the flaws i had. I cried for those words that's killing everyone.

But why cry when its not gonna solve anything..Its better to juz cleanse urself with intentions to pray. Take out the white cloth that covers u & lay out the praying mat & pray.

5 times a day..Start doin it oredi..

2010-03-06T01:01:00.000-08:00

Aft talking with boifey..It seems now, like..y bother abt goin holiday, abt wealth, abt whose greater..abt shopping..abt gossiping..abt whose pretty, beautiful, handsome..fat or thin..

When we dun bother abt our own ke-imanan. Coz we only bring 3 things to the grave with us. Family, wealth & iman. & yes..only iman stays with us. The rest gone back to the world where they belong.

So y not kejarkan ke-imanan masing2.

Alhamdulilah i got a boyfriend like u. Bcoz all these things are for me to reflect & ponder abt myself too.

Of days of ramblings..

2010-03-05T02:20:00.000-08:00

Its 2am now but i still dun feel like sleeping. Boifey is now lepaking with the guys under his blk. & i asked him who was there & he said, 'Satu tgh gado..lagi satu tgh psycho..' Lol.

Anyway i was bored aft work, boss bought eclairs. Yummey! Thank u boss! & the late hong bao also..anywaes, accompany sis aft work. Got a free ride to Tanjong Pagar. Thank u dude...Sape lagi nk ckp thank u eh? haha. Got shaker fries hot & spicy. Decided to get bubble tea, they got promotion for student. Apparently, poly & ite students doesnt fall into that category. Bugger.

kk, anyway i saw this pic!

Maybe tmr gonna eat swensens. I want sticky chewy chocolate!

Maybe i shud get that BTT goin. hmmm..

It should start now..

2010-03-03T20:19:00.000-08:00

If so the Chilean quake make the days shorter now as calculated..Does dat mean nights will be longer?? If so woudnt it be nicer for office hrs to cut short? Say..8.30am till 4? Or 3.30? Best nyerr!!!

Wait, shudnt i juz shudder at the thought that actually the end is really near. Rather den complaining abt long office hours..shudnt i ponder abt my long years of sin? Astarfirullah..Hopefully..one day, my heart will eventually open.

Amin.

Should never end this..

2010-02-28T17:14:00.000-08:00

I've been purely lazy to update this blog of mine.. Now that exams are over & i have a mth & 1/2 to rot at hm. Klah, not really rot.. When i hand in the last paper which is accounts & which i am quite satisfied of the paper compared to the rest, i've decided to enjoy the starting of hols with a bang. ho ho. Klah, not a bang. But yeah..Now im ever so sleepy & i wanna post abt boifey's bro wedding which is in the middle of my exams. hee. But got no energy so yeah plus im fighting with him right now & i juz got hm which is now at 4pm ++ frm yest. & i didnt get to watch SANTAU!!!! Klah, managed to watch the latest SAW for which i do not noe wat no. is dat. 6 issit? Lastly i lost my one & only SHADES!! Boo hoo hoo. But all & all. I enjoyed the starting of my hols. Thank u dear nakamas. So im juz gonna dump some pics here. Starting frm the wedding then Novotel. :-)

Oh ya, u guys shud try sengkang swimming pool. Its awesome neh! Got jacuzzi & slides & indoor swimming pool. Mcm jakun gitu when i 1st got there. Guess gonna go there often. *winkwink*

Happy Valentines & CNY

2010-02-14T02:17:00.000-08:00

I didnt expect that you'll understand me.. abt wat i was complaining.

I didnt expect that words that came out of ur mouth comfort me. Comfort me so much that i manage to look it the other way. The positive way. That's u. U always somehow manage to diss out the negative.

I thought i coudnt love u more den i oredi have.

Think before u do it

2010-02-08T01:19:00.000-08:00

I feel like blogging abt wat is happening to the world ard us..

First & foremost..the girl who got molested at the siloso beach party is a tyranny. So much for the big 'hoo-haa'.

Secondly, celebrity Nadia sex video..Seen it. No comment. Juz gross.

Lastly, a malay girl frm Republic Poly posts pics of her & boyfriend in a private blog but somehow i guess she didnt know hackers exists...She was semi-naked with bare breasts showing.. I mean if ur bf was touching it..klah. i mean, nah..he didnt touch it..Make u look as if shiok-sendiri like dat..

Amik gambar cam gini kan lagi bagus..

Err, belated pics of Man's 23rd actually..heheh! Sorry nakamas for the late2 pics. Shall upload in Fb..when i haf the time k. :P

For now..i shall ZzzzZzzz.

FUCK YOU.YES YOU.

2010-02-04T16:31:00.000-08:00

I just had enuff of this. I juz had enuff with ppl saying, 'Why Nysha?' Why must it be her?' Why she get the same baju as them?" Why issit all Nysha Nysha Nysha?!"

I tot Ayid will understand. But worse he tot i lied. Told him once..he asked again..told him twice..still repeating the same question.

If u guys tink im a burden in ur lives...That i shud be non-existent..Den fuck u ppl dun bother to find me. & fucking stop comparing urself with me.

Goodbye.

Sawadikap!

2010-01-29T10:46:00.000-08:00

I am simply bored on a fri nite. So much for TGIF. & im still miserable. I tink something juz ticks & i juz snapped.

Still have not meet boifey yet. To enlightened my mood today, surprisingly i passed my effective writing paper. I got B+. I was writing crapped. My mind went blank when i sat for the paper. So i scribbled nonsense.

Anyhoos, its nearing Feb & my dear friends are goin BKK. Hmmph! I hate u ppl lar!! I wanna go again! :P

K, let me be a good samaritan of sharing pics of the club INCH there. Super nice!! Why S'pore clubs not like dat hah?? I still remember me & sis & our frens were dancing to a Thai song when we tot it was reggae..Lol!
K..this pic is much clearer..
Its actually much bigger den this.. This is only a part of it. The coolest thing is, u dun need to line up for drinks. I repeat, NO NEED to line up for drinks. The drinks will come to u. Haha. So ppl must go BKK to know wat i mean. Oh this pic was taken wen were at level 2 of the club.

And i tink i was much thinner back den...
Im the middle one wearing white blue polka dot..Juz in case u cant spot me. Look at my arms! Now dun say uh.

Oh wells, this was years ago.. I was..20? klah 2-3 yrs ago. Not clubbing anymore fyi. Boifey will kill me if he sees this post. But my dear nakamas. Hope u guys enjoy urself aight. Go inch. & Tiger show. hehehe!

Even Ronald is Thai..

Get On It

2010-01-26T22:43:00.000-08:00

Yes, 1 more presentation & im done..

Ok actually exams this coming Feb. Huahuahua. Shit & i dunno whether i can attend boifey's bro wedding in Feb coz clashed with my exams period & & baju da buat. -___- Im screwed.

& im missing boifey so much right now. But yeah guys will be guys..Doesnt get the hint when we girls are actually giving one. & girls will be girls..coz we keep dropping hints when wen can juz tell the guys directly.

I need retail therapy badly.

Yet again..

2010-01-23T02:28:00.000-08:00

Juz got hm....

As usual sheesha-ing till i go noneng. Haha.

Kk some pics b4 goin to sleep. Working in the morning. yucks.

Hehe.. Jepong pe nakamas???

It Went Well

2010-01-19T00:22:00.000-08:00

While most teenagers wants to look older den their age..klah looks more mature den their age.. I on the other hand, wants to be still at 18. And 18 i will be.

Heck i cant even go thru NC16 w/o them looking at my ic. So much for being 22.

Im Lovin' It! Pa da pap pa pa...

2010-01-18T00:56:00.000-08:00

Its nearly 1am & i noe i shud be sleeping. Boifey nagging oredi on y i have not sleep yet.

Im nervous abt tmr. My marketing presentation. Me & my grp members did the report only today. How great! Haha. Call it accomplishment. And today we reahearsed like mad at my house. Sorry mom! To disturb u while when u shud be resting. & tmr I need to wake up at 6! Die lah like this... When i tot ITE is quite hard...Poly is triple hard. Actually not hard. The workload is ridiculous.

Anyway, my dear Ayid. Im trying to absorbed the change we have to adopt. Although the change is made by u. Your decision. I shud be happy. But im trying still. I haf to admit it kinda hurts me. Im nearly to tears. But I noe i shud not be feeling dat way. If not, im such a bad gf. :(

Instead of dwelling on how hurting it is..maybe i shud join u so dat i can be beside you. Rather den being behind u..

Swap Party

2010-01-10T20:58:00.000-08:00

Tmr start school oredi... The feeling is so sian. But this hol has been a fruitful & meaningful one.

Im juz glad boifey understands me aft wat i said to him juz now. It juz lightens my mood.

All smiles now.

Watch me, watch me

2010-01-09T17:06:00.000-08:00

I dun feel like uploading my pics at facebook..& i dun feel like blogging. But i feel like posting photos of Mizy's bday.

I tink its juz me. Ppl change mah. So do i..& i feel that im oversensitive. But watever it is..I juz dun like yest environment. Coz its pathetic to see ppl trying so hard to be with the 'cool' crowd & be all dat. To me by consuming alcohol & bebual cam mat & minah or talking abt sex position doesnt make one so cool.

& ppl keep saying me being so kpo. Hurhurhur..Wat does make that Aib was observing me yest & goes. 'There's something on ur mind. I noe.' & I go like, 'So?? Its my mind.Not yours'. & he goes like, 'Frm the way u're looking, i noe there's something u 're tinking abt'. Kpo no?

Yeah i was looking at the 'cool crowd'. & I noe boifey feels the same way like i did. Can tell frm his face. But its better to keep mum abt it.
.
.

.
.
So anyways..Happy 23rd Mizy. Hope u'll turn wiser a year older. :-)
I tink i'll juz post the bday boy pic & me, boifey & err..didi.(menyelit jerr tahu.)

Surprise For Him

2010-01-07T21:40:00.000-08:00

At last i have the whole night of rest. Can rest & blog..

It was my dear boifey bdae last Tues. 23 sey! Damn we're fucking old. I juz turn 22 last Nov. The nxt thing u noe it..It's my turn turning 23. Boo hoo.

I planned for a surprise dinner for him at my place & haha, byk drama mama happen sey in a night! I nearly got a heart attacked that he will nvr make it coz last min he called saying his sedare accident. I was already so stress coz all arrived oredi. Emma & Alijah oredi bathed smelling sweet & nice aft the whole evening of cooking. Haha! Thank you babes! Really appreciated much & Emma with ur lasagna can open shop oredi. ;-P But it was delicious! Plus my mom nasi goreng & fried chicken!Yummey. Food wasnt much but sumhow we were so damn full at the end of the night.

& yes he managed to come. Thanks Wal! *wink*wink*

Emma, Me, Alijah

Nasib baik tk mkn keropok.Hehe!
Man wanted to be there. So we make him to be there...

Virtually. lol.

Den ard midnite, decided to go k-ok. Mizy & Nana came aft work. We went simpang to wait for our turn.

Pressie frm Mizy & Nana.

Nana, Mizy & Wan

Fierce lah konon.

Mizy & Nana peh bastard. Haha! wrapped his presssie 23 times since its his 23rd.. In the end aku jugak yg tolong unwrapped kan..& look wat he got. Lol. Siak uh krg. But klah.. its the thought that counts. :P

I wanna thank once again to everyone. Also goes to my sis & Acap. Boifey said he loves the surprise. Wee~

Next stop: Mizzie Hayden ( I smell room service)

Finally..

2010-01-02T01:43:00.000-08:00

Start of 2010 has been great so far.. Hope it'll remain like this. Anyway, ppl have been saying my face looks different. Erk! Frm a childhood fren to my bf & even my sis. Kalau different as in 'hot' different tkpe gak. Hehehe!

Tmr gonna do project & nxt week is e-learning week which i hate it so much & need to do presentation as well. Tell me its still the holidays.... :(

A Day Left

2009-12-30T20:47:00.000-08:00

Juz argued with boifey yet again..Hmmm..I dunno whether its juz me or issit him? I tink its me huh.. Im sorry. Its juz dat i hate it when i ask whether wanna meet, u said u're tired n all although we live like 15 mins frm each other. But den later2 wen ur frens say wanna lepak, u'll go ahead n meet them. So issit still me dat i'll throw tantrum abt this??

Furthermore things at hm are like argh! So yeah it'll juz add on & im sorry i vent it on u.

My face so masai. But so wat.

So yet again abt new yr resolutions..Wat i had accomplished in 2009.. Obviously getting back to sch. Age doesnt matter u noe. And yeah i was a gd gf indeed this yr. Hehe. And intend to be for the yr and the yr aft and so on. No more clubbing & partying. Had enuff since i was 18 & making my bf life miserable. & nxt yr June will be my 2nd yr with my company. I love u boss! Thanks for keeping me and being the most understanding/generous boss that i've known in my entire life. I feel so lucky to work in the company. Shall be a real accountant when i graduate. No more assistant heh.

Therefore for 2010 i wanna get more serious in life. Not that im not serious all this while.. Hopefully finish my 1st & 2nd yr with flying colors. Then comes 3rd yr will be another new yr resolution. That one can tink later2. Haha.

So as for tmr, we see how lah wanna celebrate. Wat boifey said is true. Its juz another yr. Doesnt mean anything. We juz make resolutions for the new year juz for the sake of making one...erm, unless we accomplished it. :-P

Last but not least i love u Mohd.Farid. You are the only one who keep me sane. You lead me & guided me almost thruout my entire life. You impress me with your maturity in life & knowledge of our religion and i believe u can guide me better wen we will be (insya-allah) married. (menyampah i noe.bluek)

Enuff said..

Happy New Year everyone!!

Days before 2010

2009-12-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

Lemme blog a bit abt yest..

I was spending time with boifey family,they had a picnic.. & he's back to riding again. Wee~. Its been such a long time ya noe hugging him frm behind & see his strongs arms/hands gripping the bike's handle. Haha!

Then nearly midnight, me & boifey went to Changi Airport to send Man off. Coz he'll be goin overseas for a very very long time. Holiday sakan eh kau. Hmmmph!

Me & boifey ended the day with an argument. How sweet & classic. Thanks a lot! Please stop blaming me again & again. -________-

Tgk Futurama lagi bagus.

Xmas '09

2009-12-26T01:03:00.000-08:00

This yr xmas, had dinner date with my dear sis! Thanks sis for the belated bdae dinner. I want more lobster puh-leese. hehe. Anyway its been a while dat both of us actually went out together. I had a lovely time.

Sinfully Wet Tues

2009-12-22T23:13:00.000-08:00

This is wat i did today..

Me & Emma decided to bake anything dat spells chocolate today. But mine spelled disaster. Lol. Her brownie is a success though. Lucky got vanilla ice cream n choc hazelnut wafers. Ok these spells 'FAT'. But wateverlah..its the hols anyway. :-P

Den randomly we changed & walked to downtown for a dip in a pool although we noe its gonna be cold coz its night oredi.

Now it really feels like a holiday finally. Since yest & even today in the aftnn i need to go back to sch to do my projects.

Boifey is playing dota now with the rest of the guys. Haiz. Ajak main L4D2 tknk. I tink i go sleep now.

Nyte2 ppl.

Edited: Mahligai = Relationships+Friendship

2009-12-19T18:36:00.000-08:00

Congrats Shadik! May u have a blissful marriage life & many beautiful children!

Kite nye lmbt lagi..hmm, another 8-10 yrs?? Omg by den i tink im an old woman! *faint*

Anyway, relationships probs have been surrounding me like a whirlwind nowadays. Be it my close friends, poly friends..etc. So far, alhamdulilah my relationship with dear Ayid is stable. And now i haf to admit. Im damn lucky to haf him. Unlike a decade ago. Haha. I still remember, i was on the fon with Sarhan. He said, 'Kau bertuah tau. Kau dapat Ayid.Ni Ayid tau.' I juz frowned. Yeah he was the popular guy back den in sch. So what? Yeah i was fat, ugly. And ppl keep rambling abt how his one n only ex is pretty n all n ppl cant accept y oh y Ayid choose the ugly one to be with him. The peer pressure was too much. I was pressured to be beautiful n thin & he treats me like shit last time.

Oh wells, dat was the past. What i wanna say is, in a relationship, if u're willing to go thru the shittiest part with each other..den by all means insya-allah the relationship will be stronger den ever. If u're not willing, juz pack ur bag n go. Dun meddle with the other party life n destroy it n makes it more complicated. Simple as dat. Yeah easier said den done huh. But true, no? Im not saying im a relationship expert here. Im not saying dat although my 8 yrs with Ayid is a sure result of a marriage. No. Anything can happen. Long doesnt mean lasting. But wat i noe for sure, im one damn lucky girl dat hasnt gone through any heartaches yet.Hopefully never. To my frens who are goin a rough patch now. I hope u guys find ur ans & stability soon. :-)

A Bz Sat

2009-12-13T14:40:00.000-08:00

Yest was quite a hectic Sat for me..& which i ate like a pig since morning till 3++ am. OMG.
Met Jaslyn at 2pm to Haji Lane to shop shop :)

Then I went to town for dinner with the usuals. Like literally the usuals. Coz Nurul is back! Yay! Glad to meet u babe. & we're glad to be there for u no matter what. & most of all we're glad that u're ok.

Then ard 10+pm i rushed to meet boifey. It was his sis bday! K-ok lah kite.

While waiting for the rest to come.Bday girl with her brothers.

Her cake was brownies.

Then we went for supper at River Valley spize. Reached hm ard 3++am.

Klah, lazy to upload more pics. Wanna eat my nasi lemak den its bowling time with family. Best part=boifey is following! Wee~

Dec Babies-NYP Version

2009-12-10T17:20:00.000-08:00

The letter i made for Kim.

Woah, this mth bdays comes one aft another. & i've been like eating a dozen cakes for 2 mths oredi ever since celebrating my 22nd. Haha! But nvm, today we had cupcakes for Kim's & Delfin's 18th & 17th . Hmmm, dun u wish u'll juz be dat age forever n ever n ever??

And the 1st pic was Anthony's 18th. Pls note dat they're not gays..let's juz say the guys in my class are..err, over-expressing their feelings too much. :P Teenagers mah.

Oh yeah, 1 more paper to go & its gonna be hols! Wee~.....and im jobless -___-. Someone pls give me a job. I dun want to go back to Canadian. Boo hoo.

Not-A-Beautiful Nightmare

2009-12-04T23:56:00.000-08:00

I cant believe last night i slept at 9.30 pm. Siang or what?? haha. den supposed to woke up today at 630 but ended up waking up at 7am. Rush rush rush. Reached work at 8.30. Oklah..Den at 12, rush rush rush.Reached sch nearly 2pm. Seriously with this kinda pace, i'll juz...die. Haha. Den 4pm, off to hm with boifey fetching me & the rest is history. :P

Oh the news of the day =one of the guests at the Ritz Carlton lounge where i used to work, who's damn fussy & troublesome & looovveess to complain & drink ice tea & warm water only & who comes every morning w/o fail & never smile & arrogant & expect us to treat her like she's some big fuck = is officially my new colleague as of today. Tell me how cool is dat? I came to work this morning with my eyes nearly popped out when i realised why oh why the new marketing staff looked so damn familiar. Den Shadik juz haf to give me this idea, 'Nysha, ape lagi..revenge ah.' Muahahah! Oh well, im not the lounge waitress anymore arent i.Hmmmm.

Anyway, the reason that i blog today, coz i dreamt last night dat my boyfriend, had another gf. He hugged her in front of me, like consoling her & watever not. N the fact dat the pain felt so real. My heart never felt so heavy b4. & i was shouting at him. But surprisingly, i didnt cry. The bonus part...when i told him today wat i dreamt off..he could only ask, 'oh tkleh ke? Consoling jerr pe.' EeeeeeeEEEEE geram nk mampos.

Selamat Aidiladha

2009-11-28T16:55:00.000-08:00

Although my bdae was like a few days back..the last celebration was surprisingly with my dear family. My mom was ever so sweet to haf dat surprised for me frm the best cake baker, who is....my cousin's wife of coz. She's a pastry chef in one of the hotels in M'sia..Yes, she's a M'sian. We celebrated Aidiladha in JB this year. Thank you mom. I love you no matter how much i throw tantrum at home.lol.Last pic was at MarryBrown. Yum2! The chix's so yummey!

The night b4, my 2 idiotic frens that i love so much gave me an irratating, pressurising, wonderful, lovable surprise! Hahaha! U ppl are!! Thank you so much darlings. N yes Man, the biggest pressie is frm u. N yes! I will open the box & empty the content when in need ok. :P & Emma the kinky pressie comes frm u! I loike! Hope Ayid love it too. LOL!!

Ok now its time to s-t-u-d-y.ZZzzzz.

Go Shorty Its My Bday-NYP Version

2009-11-24T23:50:00.000-08:00

The letter was frm Nas & Bai. Thank u very much. It's indeed a very touching poem. Overall, i must thank you my poly-mates for making my day a magical one. xoxo. :)

And you my dear boifey, words cant describe what im feeling. You never fail to make my days a special one.

My dear peeps & party ppl, love u guys very much!

Well wat can i say? I still look 16! Haha!!

Oh ya, dear sis, dinner with u & nurul thurs aight! :D

2nd Advance Celebration

2009-11-23T20:00:00.000-08:00

Exactly 4 hours later, i'll be turning 22. It seems juz like yest when i turned the big 2-0. That my babes & me called it Happy TwenTEEN. But here i am sitting at hm feeling so down.

The day is juz not for me for today & tmr is my business software test & sch ends at 6. B4 u knew it, the day is over. Haiz... :(
Yest was also not my day. Fought with boifey even b4 we went out. I hate it wen we are shouting at each other. I dunno wen for once he'll stop blaming me wen i try to make the day work out juz fine.Aku sungguh penat skali.
Oh wells..

Lucky my lovely frens being ever so sweet, especially Emma baking the 'indah khabar dari rupa' cake for me. hahaha! Didnt noe abt it hor!! But nice one. Love u guys!

Anyway this yr celebration all was at Sentosa. I loike!

Oh & i got a new Samsung hp! Its touch screen and most of all its pink! This part aku suke skali. lol! The best part, it was frm who else lah kan other den my boifey. I juz hope we will juz kiss & make-up k tmr.Heheheheh! Thanks so much darls.

Next 2 mths will be ur 23rd. I actually planned wat to give oredi. :D

For now i shud stop feeling down n study for tmr test. Wish me gd luck ppl!

Sun Sand Sea

2009-11-15T13:55:00.000-08:00

Nowadays i keep waking up early..even on weekends like today. Although i slept pretty late last night. Uuurrggh.

Im finishing the chocs dat Zul & Lia gave me as an advance pressie. Klah, i shared with boifey last night. & 500 days of Summer is depressing. But the guy is cute though.

Lemme share the pics yest . Celebrating Jules bdae. & since mine is in Nov too, we decided to celebrate both. :)

Thanks for the celebration ppl. Love it loads. Muuuuaaah!

Caution: Read when bored.

2009-11-08T01:20:00.000-08:00

Im trying to finish up all my tutorials now..but how to when u're easily distracted & started surfing the net. haha.erm..i mean like now..here i am blogging away.

Anyway, juz wanna say..i cried the other night coz it's juz so sad.Seeing both ppl im closed with...

Nvm, dat chapter have been closed n sealed.

These few days..I've been thinking abt my God lately. Not dat i didnt tink of Him..But its like every now n then. I want to be closer to Him.Asked for his forgiveness for my nearly 22 years of sin.Hehe.I always wanted to open dat green book dat has a cartoon pic of a woman praying. Pray & ask for his forgiveness like there's no tmr. Coz i dun even noe if i'll be alive tmr, or the nxt day..or the nxt day aft.

But how to..wen i still wanna hug & kiss my boyfriend? How to wen i still wanna show off my hair, wear nice dresses, skirts?? How to wen i still wanna spend my time playing L4D wen i noe i can use it to pray or attend syarahan? How to wen i still wanna speak vulgarities?? How to wen i still like to gossip?? How to wen i keep teaching my super teenage poly friends the wrong things..like errr..i shall not mention lah. :-P

Excuses u say? Yeah i haf to agree.Im not a teenager anymore...Im an adult & the probs im facing right now is like a slap on my face dat says, grow up.

Lastly..how to wen i still wants to take pic with my boyfriend like this:

Hehe!

The 'how to' in life are juz nvr ending....

Stonger Than Ever

2009-11-02T22:50:00.000-08:00

This post is dedicated to my dear fren who lost someone that she love so much today. Its heartbreaking, tearful, surprised,unexpected & sad all into one. Although i didnt know ur mom that well..I feel ur loss. Seeing you today, i must say... me and all of our frens are very proud of you coz u still managed to pull a smile, joke with us. But i noe, its gonna be hard wen u're gonna be alone at night before going to sleep.

This is the least we can do for you Emma. To be there with you, making sure you'll stay strong. Coz your family needs you the most now.

Innalillahi Wainnailaihi Rajiun.

xoxo.muacks!

With Love

2009-11-01T16:50:00.000-08:00

Yest was Nurul 22nd Bdae as well as halloween!! Sorry no cake lah babe since u had swensens and dinner at ermm..i forget.You must be damn full.

Mine will be another 3 weeks! Damn.Im so old now. Bile nk kawin pon tk tahu. Hahaha!

Now i tink i go back sleep again. So tired. Meeting the boifey later midnight. But i had a blast! Next yr nk dress up as greek goddess can? Lol.

Singapore man kills child over cigarettes

2009-10-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

SINGAPORE (AFP) - – A Singaporean man has gone on trial charged with murdering his 23-month-old daughter in a fit of rage after he caught her playing with his cigarettes, court officials said Tuesday.
Sallehan Allaudin, 26, is accused of fatally beating his daughter Nikie in January ahead of her second birthday, causing her to die of a ruptured vein. If convicted, he could face death by hanging.
The High Court was told Monday that Sallehan, who had just returned home with his wife with a present for Nikie, went berserk after seeing the toddler had torn up and scattered his cigarettes, the Straits Times reported Tuesday.
Sallehan has pleaded not guilty to the charge.
His wife, Rozanah Mohamed Yusoff, 24, used a mannequin to show the court how Sallehan allegedly kicked and stomped on their daughter in the kitchen, the newspaper said.
The couple, who have two younger daughters, called for an ambulance when Nikie started bleeding from the nose, but she died of her injuries, according to the report.
"I did not go into the kitchen to stop my husband as I thought that was the way he wanted to discipline Nikie," the wife was quoted as saying by the newspaper.

You fuckers!!! Kimak otak letak pat pantat siak!! I hope you'll be hanged to death. No no, i tink u shud be tortured b4 hanged to death. Still pleaded not guilty! She's just a fucking baby u fucking moron. grrrrr. I tink the wife shud also joined the husband in jail for being so idiotic.

Suddenly i remembered a conversation i had with boifey wen we were talking abt our religion and stuff;
'Pukul hanya niat utk mengajari/mengingati..Bukan dgn niat utk menyakiti'.

Well i guess your ciggies worth much more than your daughters' life. Maybe they can use this for and ad for saying no to ciggarettes rather den all those horrid pictures.

Anyhoos, the so overdue pics are up and i like these 2 pics..

And of coz a not so perfect pic of us.

I hope none of us will do that monstrous act towards our children in future.

A-Y-I-D

2009-10-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

Time is all we need.

But there's so little time.

:-(

You

2009-10-23T01:07:00.000-07:00

I guess..aft wat's been happening..or shall i say still happening with the ppl and frens ard me and boifey..

And yet, despite all those bickering, vengeance, mocking, hatred towards one another..You my boyfriend never fails to impress me. On how you handle most of the situations. How you like to think the other way around. See the things at a diff angle. And it makes me wonder..how come i didnt tink of dat??

Wat can i say is..forgiving is the purest thing to do. But as a human being, to forgive is very hard. And i can understand y you did the things u did. Say the things u said. I can understand y the ppl i noe, feel the feelings they had. Its understandable.

Lets juz say im quite lucky to haf you as my boyfriend.

You are the only one dat keeps me going and sane.

Oklah, enuff of my own bedtime story. Besok keje. -______-

Den rush to sch for my aftnn class. Uuurrgghh.

Nytenyte.

Sleeping-In

2009-10-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

I juz wanna say...that tmr...class is cancelled and that means, NO SCHOOL!

Anyway..me and Jules had a feast the other day..

Too bad boifey dislikes seafood :( & he's being cranky today..hmmm.

I tink i'll continue watching GG. Chuck is being ever so sweet lah.

Ali Paitao Day

2009-10-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

Its so sunny today but i guess i shall stay at home. Clear all my stuff..my clothes...and tmr shop shop shop and more shopping with dear Jules!

Oh yeah, yest..Ali Ali Ali..haiz. But its ok, luckily bubblegum was damn nice!

Back to SkOOooooooL

2009-10-13T19:47:00.000-07:00

Timetable for 2nd sem is out! And looking thru it makes me surprise and relief at the same. Coz..

1stly, one of the days..end sch at 6! frm morning. Oh my..
2ndly, I got aftnn class..which means i can wake up late..

But den too bad for me, i decided to sacrifice my morn to go work. Boo hoo hoo hoo.

Oh wells..

Im still excited to start sch anyway..
Meet u sweetie ladies soon!

B-L-A-M-E

2009-10-11T02:48:00.000-07:00

Im so shagged right now..Work in the morn, den jln raye with gfs den evening continuation with family till aft midnite. But i dun feel like sleeping..

A lot of things in my head right now dat i cant figure out wat is the prob in the 1st place. & not meeting boifey for almost a week is making things worse. Boo hoo.

Wat happen the nite b4 triggered something dat i longed buried deep2 inside me. Coz i dun want to make things worse and i want to give the ppl dat matters the most to me ,face. Dat i pretend nothing happen up till now. U noe..the worse thing is..wen u're still bothered abt something, wen u're juz not satisfied with something/someone but ur surroundings and ppl force u not to say a word. It juz pile up u noe. Keeping mum abt it its juz not the best solution.

U must be wondering wat the hell im yakking abt. But its ok, i juz want to type wat im feeling. Yest..i dun noe wat really happen..i was juz at home.Its amazing how wen u can juz sit at home and yet prob can arises with u in a tight spot with juz a phonecall. Im not blaming anyone here but it juz brought me to remember wat happen in the past...

It hurts so bad.. very bad. No one can understand.Even though my boifey say it doesnt matter coz he's there for me. But yet im not convince that he understood wat i felt back den. Seeing u urself being bombarded words aft words. Coz wats worse..i was not involve. But the ppl ard me forced me to be. And dat was wat i got. Like a punishment for not being involve in their complicated life.

Its juz dat i really feel i dun deserve any of this. Wen i tot enuff is enuff. Its ur life ur relationship. But hell no.

Its something dat cant be avoided and i understand dat now. Im sorry if i offended anyone. But yest nite was my lowest vulnerable point aft dat phone call. Afterall..im juz human.

Bad bad memories.

No matter wat, im good at hiding my emotions. Juz a smile on my face.

Go Shorty, Its your BDAE!

2009-10-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

Yest surprise birthday celebration for my dear sister = awesome. Although at the end of the day my body decided to raise its temp. uurghh. N yeah, its been almost a week of fever. Congrats Nysha.

We decided on Cheesy Choz cake frm Secret Recipe. Damn nice! I've decided dat this is my fav cake. Hahaha.

Thanks girls for the wonderful night and making the surprise dinner a surprise one. Haha! Sorry for making u girls left early coz i was sick and cranky. But nevertheless, love u all very much. XOXO.

La Lala La Lala La Lala La Lala

2009-10-04T03:51:00.000-07:00

Juz came back frm jln raya. Phew..And im soo tired but dun feel like sleeping yet. But i had fun! :-D

Anyway, let me do a shout out to my..

Beloved Hot, Gorgeous Sista! A Happy 24th BDAE!!!! I suuuppeerr dduuppeerr looovve u so much! And i noe life's been hard on u but u can count on me on everything! Muah Muah Muah!!

Klah im gonna hit the sack. NytezzzzzzzZZZzzzz

Life as they say...

2009-09-28T23:08:00.000-07:00

I will love you forever and ever and ever and ever ever. (although u look so gayish in this pic coz i tink i shud be the one doing the pout. MUahaha.)

Im ever so ready to work back as a lounge waitress when sch re-opens. Boo hoo hoo. That is totally my last resort. Im so screwed. And not meeting my boyfriend as usual as now wen Oct comes.

Oh wells, like everyone says, this is life.

Pls bring me to Nov.............

You're A Star

2009-09-25T21:30:00.000-07:00

I got 3 openhouse to go tmr. Actually 4 but i decided not to go to the other 1 coz its ssuuppeerr far. Klah im gonna sleep in early today. Tmr will be a long day for me plus work in the morning.

Let me put some raya pics..

Stashed..

2009-09-21T15:30:00.000-07:00

Hmmm..so bored right now. waiting for my cousin to come..den will get ready to go out. So tgh boring2 i was facebooking..n i found this pic..

I was like eh?? How come my face in there? lol. Juz look at my innocent face. Haha. & i dun tink the rest of the girls here remember this pic was ever taken. Anyway this was at Zoukout '08. Oh my how time flies. Its gonna be 2010 soon. But wait..22nd in thai maybe?? Hopefully it happens. ;-D

Aidilfitri

2009-09-20T20:19:00.000-07:00

Selamat Hari Raya!!

Give up

2009-09-15T13:11:00.000-07:00

Im juz so freaking sad, anxious, mad, pissed, furious. Period.

I dunno wat else to do. U said one thing..den the next day, another thing. Make up your mind boy. And think b4 u even say or accuse me. When i tot i was fickle minded and looovee to jump to conclusions. Guess im not alone.

On this one, im damn sure its not my fault coz i remembered so damn clearly that i did asked u. Huh. Who said girls are so difficult to understand??

You guys juz need to freaking listen to us and dun ever forget watever u are listening to.

As simple as that.